Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About What Everyone Thinks and Start Planning My Empire
Hello, gorgeous humans who’ve survived four decades of this beautiful mess called life!
Let me paint you a picture. It’s Tuesday night. You’re horizontal on the couch, remote in one hand, wine glass in the other (because Tuesday wine is totally a thing now). “Escape to the Country” is playing for the third time this week, and you’re genuinely invested in whether Malcolm and Janet will choose the Victorian cottage or the modern barn conversion.
Your teenagers are out being mysterious teenage creatures, probably discussing things that would make your hair curl more than it already does from stress. Your partner is creating symphonies with their sinuses from the recliner. The dog is judging you silently from the corner.
And you’re thinking: Is this it?
Plot twist: This moment of recognition isn’t a crisis. It’s an invitation.
The Great Awakening (Not the Religious Kind, Though Wine May Be Involved)
Remember your thirties? Oh, what a time. You were so busy being the CEO of everyone else’s life, the Chief Operating Officer of household logistics, and the Director of Making Sure Everyone Else Was Happy. You listened to EVERYONE about EVERYTHING:
- Your mother’s opinions about your parenting
- Your neighbor’s thoughts on your lawn care
- Society’s feelings about your career choices
- The internet’s judgment about literally everything you put in your shopping cart
- The beauty industry’s insistence that your natural face wasn’t quite enough
You spent so much time with your ear pressed to the world’s opinions that you forgot to listen to your own voice. And now? Now you’re sitting here realizing that voice has been whispering some pretty interesting things while you weren’t paying attention.
Let me tell you about my own moment of rebellion. One morning, I looked at my makeup bag and thought, “What if I just… didn’t?” So I didn’t. I walked out of the house with my actual face – the one with laugh lines that tell stories and under-eye circles that prove I’ve lived a full life.
Breaking news: The world did not end.
The economy didn’t crumble. Traffic lights continued to function. My coffee still tasted like coffee. The apocalypse I’d been unconsciously preparing for by painting my face every morning? Total no-show.
Sure, there was the first wave of well-meaning comments. “You look tired!” became the new “hello.” But here’s the thing about waves – they crash, then they recede. After a few weeks, my makeup-free face became the new normal. And something beautiful happened: I started to see the actual beauty in it. The face that had weathered storms, smiled through joy, cried through heartbreak. The face that was uniquely, authentically mine.
The Permission Slip You’ve Been Waiting For
Here’s your official permission slip, signed by someone very important (you, future you, and possibly your wine glass):
You are hereby granted permission to want MORE.
More excitement. More adventure. More purpose. More money. More recognition. More fun. More everything that makes your heart do that skippy thing it used to do before you convinced yourself that skippy hearts were for “other people.”
But first, we need to talk about dreaming. Real dreaming. Not the sad, deflated balloon dreams you’ve been carrying around like “Well, I suppose I like to cook…”
Dream Bigger, Darling
Let’s upgrade those dreams, shall we?
Instead of: “I like to cook”
Try: “I want to teach cooking and help people fall in love with their kitchens again!”
Instead of: “I’m good with plants”
Try: “I want to design gardens that make people cry happy tears!”
Instead of: “I enjoy helping people”
Try: “I want to coach women to become the badass leaders they’re meant to be!”
Instead of: “I write okay”
Try: “I want to write the book that changes someone’s life!”
See the difference? One makes you sound like you’re apologizing for existing. The other makes you sound like the main character in your own life story. Which, by the way, YOU ARE.
Finding Your “Why” (And No, It’s Not Just “Because the Kids Need Me”)
Your purpose isn’t hiding in some mystical, meditation-heavy, eat-pray-love journey (though if that’s your thing, more power to you). Your purpose is probably sitting right there in the things that make you irrationally excited or irrationally angry.
What makes you light up like a Christmas tree? What problems make you want to roll up your sleeves and fix things? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Maybe you’re the person who always knows how to make a room feel welcoming. Maybe you’re the one friends call when they need someone to organize their chaos. Maybe you’re the one who sees potential where everyone else sees problems.
That thing? That’s not just a hobby. That’s your superpower.
Love Yourself First (Yes, Really)
Before you can love what you do, you have to love who you are. And I don’t mean the filtered, perfected version of yourself you present to the world. I mean the real you:
- The you who dances badly in the kitchen
- The you who has opinions about everything
- The you who sometimes cries at commercials
- The you who dreams big, messy, complicated dreams
- The you who is allowed to want things just because you want them
You are not too old. You are not too late. You are not too anything except too awesome to keep hiding.
The Beautiful Truth About Starting Over at 40+
Here’s what they don’t tell you about being over 40: You finally have enough life experience to know what you DON’T want, enough confidence to trust your instincts, and enough wisdom to know that other people’s opinions are really just suggestions.
You’ve already proven you can handle hard things. You’ve survived decades of plot twists, raised humans, managed households, built careers, weathered storms. You’re not starting from zero – you’re starting from wisdom.
Your Next Chapter Starts Now
So, what’s it going to be? Are you going to keep watching other people live their dreams on TV, or are you going to get up off that couch and start building your own?
Your dreams are waiting. Your purpose is calling. Your future self is cheering you on.
Permission granted. Purpose activated. Dreams: ENGAGE.
Now excuse me, I have some big, fantastic, unapologetic dreams to chase. And after four decades on this planet, I finally know I’m worth chasing them.
P.S. – Malcolm and Janet totally should have chosen the Victorian cottage. But that’s just my opinion, and opinions are like dreams – everyone should have their own.
What’s your big, fantastic dream? The one that makes you feel slightly terrified and completely alive at the same time? That’s the one. Start there.
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